TheGoodFelo

Timi,      I had a dream. In my dream, there was a man in his 50s, sipping a cup of ginger tea one evening -just before the sun thought about going down. He sat on a chair in his backyard, reading a book about love and life. One moment, he smiled, sipped some tea again, then continued to read. Well, his house was small and quiet; there were electric power and food. Apparently, he had been there within the fences for weeks. I could tell this from the ease in his smile and peace in his mind.      That man, Tim, was you. I was not sleeping when I had this dream; I was only thinking of you in a good light. Don't bother about dying -we all will die someday, anyway. Don't fear that you'll exit the world without anyone knowing. There are a good number of people that will always value you, and I'm one. I'll notice if only I would be alive by then, too. Smiles.      Tim, life doesn't have to be a bed of roses, just a strand of hope is good enou...

Introduction I was there when an older man was scolding a young boy of about 10 years old . ‘Stop talking like a lady, speak like a man! You are a man.’ Apparently, the young boy had a natural high-pitched voice. The little boy reclined in a chair in class one afternoon. He began to reflect on how his friends had bullied him, ‘…see the way you talk like a woman. Are you not a man?’. He surely remembered his Uncle telling him that day, ‘Ben, you are a man, and you should talk like a man. Now, talk like a man.’ He seemed to have heard the seemingly embarrassing statement on how to talk like a man a million times. Now, I heard someone say, ‘He chose to be moved by what people say.’ Truth is: we aren’t all graced to have good self-esteem; we do not all grow up with very rigid minds; and in fact, Ben was just a ten-year-old, imagine it. You know, when you remind a child ‘negatively’ about their seeming weakness like, ‘You are so slow; you can never be fast enough to catch a snail; idiot...

Baby boy,      Timi, I do understand. It’s only a matter of time before you get your own space. Please, make it a duty to yourself to ignore the goats in your life, carry about your headphones so that you can access them when necessary, and thank God for the angles you have in your life, like me. I know I’m a darling. I’m a gift to you, just as you are to me, dear. I know you miss me that’s why you say kinds of stuff like, ‘Why are you still alive?’ Silly boy. Sha be saying rubbish there…smiles.      Not at all, you are not bad tempered. And, complaining is only normal. Why are we companions if we can’t share our life experiences? Companions are to share both their distress and delights in life. I appreciate you for trusting me enough to tell me all this. Obviously, our separation in distance has not even affected our companionship. Best friends forever – bff ! I love you, Tim.      Have you been using your drugs? How has your mood bee...

Introduction 'Start with the little you have,' that's what many of them say. So, 'You have an idea? A business idea? Or just any positive ambition that means so much to you? The key is starting small. I and a fellow young man were discussing how funny and sometimes annoying it can be to hear those words from people who think they are encouraging us. He wants to be a photographer. In this age where amazing cameras and expensive devices are out to improve the quality of photographic products, 'where do I start small?' He apparently needed some relevant experiences, 'How do I get experienced, when skilled personnels are asking me to pay because they didn't acquire their wealth of experience and expertise without a cost?' Yet, they say, 'start small!' I think it's easier said though.  The Talk Out of my personal experience, I've been discouraged many times. I love men's fashion so well. I finllally found a place to learn ...

Hey Timi,      Thanks for always writing me. I’m truly very sorry for replying late. I’m doing okay here. Believe me dear, I miss you like crazy! I’ve missed seeing your fake dimples, lolz. I know you’re not too fine, but please be. I desperately need you to survive, okay? And, that’s not a demand; it’s a command, you hear?      The sad part is that I want to believe you were joking when you said that you hope to find an alternative friend. Nonsense! Arrant rubbish! May God never bring a better friend your way! May you not find o! Do you think I want a rival? Don’t get this wrongly. I just want to remain in your heart. Sharing that comfy space in your heart with someone else would surely give me a heart attack. Do you want me to die?      Darling, I still and will always love you dearly. I’m sorry about the unexpected change of things. I remember you always feared that a time would come when life may take me away from you, and it seems lik...

This article was inspired by and is thus dedicated to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.      So, we know of how men squeeze themselves into small and frustrating cages. We might have heard this brutally ignorant statement being drilled into the ears of a bitter young man who had just been unfortunate: You are a man; you shouldn’t cry. This is to uphold a sad criterion of manliness as if to say it isn’t human for any man to cry; as if every man has to have a special ability that makes them emotionally stronger than women. So, ‘sheer’ being a man has become a sufficient reason to be remarkably unyielding to some normal human emotions. David Schmitt of Psychology today reiterated that: …even if sex differences have neurological substrates, gender role socialization may change the brains of boys and girls. If today men are strong enough to calm their tendencies to cry, it's largely because the society has taught them to. Now, this is not to say that this 'principle of not crying w...

On the demand of a reader, I'm posting ' An epistolary short story titled: A Letter To Alice' . It exemplifies the essence of 'confession' in a companionship. How would you feel to get such a mail as this? Share your views in the comment section, please. A Letter to Alice Dear Alice,      How are you my cutie teddy princess? I've missed you so much. I feel like I last saw you about ten years ago. I miss your adorable smile; I miss your angelic chuckles - the way you laugh when you pull my legs and I stupidly take you so seriously. Babe, I know I'm freaking bad at comprehending jokes. My bad!      I wish you were here last week when I was trapped in terrible traffic. You know how badly I loathe congestion and crowds. Plus, I forgot my headphones in mom's car. These days I forget everything in a jiffy.      Here in Ibadan, the air is tense, the days are scorching and the nights are hot. I'm just hating everything. When you're not aroun...

Confession is totally helpful and expedient in every relationship . For crying out loud, you like somebody, so, why is it so impossible for you to ever mention it in your whole life? Some people mention it quite often before their relationship is well bonded, then afterwards, they assume that their companion should just have known it already. Little things like this strengthen your relationships, and the absence of them when necessary definitely hurts a whole lot. You are entitled to hearing a reassuring confession of love and value, just as much as your companion is entitled to it too. Well, I guess that someone might be right to think that once you begin to make these valid confessions, your companion could abuse your honesty by being egotistical. This is why this act has to be mutually practised. Hence, if you are reading this alone, you could be at a detrimental end. Now, confession is a salient action needed to maintain a healthy relationship in both distant and near relationships...

‘ The Withdrawal Syndrome ,’ that’s what I call it. Are you familiar with how withdrawal in a relationship can be a defensive mechanism rather than an evidence of infidelity or dislike? Have you been in this kind of tight shoes? The popular assumption is that when one party/person in a relationship begins to strangely withdraw from their other companion in a very unusual way, then it could be a proof that they no longer like their companion as much as they used to, or that they are finding another person so interesting that they do not want to be seriously committed again to their companion(s). This is unfailingly possible. However, it is not always the case. Many a time, your companion can begin to withdraw especially because they love you too much, but they don’t feel that they are equally loved. It means that they are aware of the fragility of the human heart. Hence, when I love you too much, but I don’t believe that you love me that much, or I believe that you do not really want to...

Don’t always assume the role of a solution provider . If every time your companion has a challenge, you strive relentlessly to solve their problems completely or prescribe solutions, you would only be exhausting your good energy. Moreover, what your companion would forever appreciate you for is your attention and care. You can’t always solve their problems, but you can always make them know that they really are not alone on their toughest walk. The assurance that you would try your possible best to be present with them in the dark valleys of their emotional and life struggles would definitely make every problem half solved. In fact, the valley becomes quite less distressing and their burdens definitely will get lighter. For instance, I often have periods of serious unhappiness and anxiety. When I have such moments, most times, there’s no finite cause. So when I breakdown for an unexplainable or irrational reason, it never pays off well for anyone to try to solve the issues. It only lea...